Conversations with Eli

To cool oatmeal

After putting a bowl of hot oatmeal in front of Eli, Eli asks Mama to help him blow on it to cool it off.

Eli: "Blow on the oatmeal as hard as water flows from the Columbia River to the ocean."

Jokes

Eli is just beginning to learn about jokes. He knows they are supposed to be funny. He knows people are supposed to laugh at jokes. He gets some jokes in movies (his favorite joke is from a Stuart Little movie: a skunk says, "Talk to the butt!" before spraying another animal). But that's about the extent of his joke abilities. Listen in:

Eli, during a car ride home from Portland: "Let's tell jokes! I'll go first."

Eli: "How does a cow dig a hole?"

Daddy: "How?"

Eli: "With his teeth!"

We all laugh. (And no, we don't get that joke!)

Daddy: "OK, my turn. An elephant and a rhinoceros have a baby. Guess what the baby is called."

Eli: "That's pretty funny, Daddy. OK, my turn."

Daddy: "But wait. What is the baby called?"

Eli: "It's my turn Daddy. You can tell a joke when I am done!"

Eli: "What happens with 7 rhinoceros' with horns?

Mama and Daddy: "What?"

Eli, laughing wildly: "6 grunts!"

Daddy: "OK, my turn. Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Pause.

Eli: "Daddy, jokes are supposed to be funny. That's not funny. It's just irritating."