Stuff Eli says

I've been keeping track (on random pieces of paper strewn throughout the house) of the funny, interesting or confusing things that Eli says. These aren't full conversations, just jotted notes from a Mama who doesn't want to forget what her 4-year-old says.

Money
Eli: "I'm pretending I have enough money for a lot of food, a horse and a dog."
Mama: "Wow, that's a lot of money!"
Eli: "Yeah, I have hundreds of money!"

Birthdays
Eli: "Mama, it's still fun when you have a birthday when you are a grownup? Because it is fun? It is exciting?"

Sturdy
On a walk in our neighborhood, Eli held Zula's leash. Mama was worried when another dog walked by, and she said so to Daddy.
Eli: "Don't worry Mama. I'm as sturdy as an anchor!"

Running in the dark
On a walk home from the park in the evening, Eli wants to run.
Eli: "I can run in the dark."
Mama: "Oh you must have good eyesight."
Eli: "I can't see in the dark, but if I bump into something I just put my hands up and feel my way around it."

College
Eli: "College is where you sleep overnight?"
Mama: "Yes."
Eli: "Forever?"
Mama: "No, usually for 4 years."
Eli: "There is a breakfast place in the library?"
Mama: "Well, there is a place for eating breakfast, lunch and dinner. And then there is also a library."
Eli: "You'll go with me and stay as long as I want you to?"

The sizes in our family
Eli talking to Mama, who was asking Ewan if he wanted more food.
Eli: "I don't think he's going to eat another thing, he's just a little guy."
Pause.
Eli: "And I am a big guy, and you are a huge guy, and Daddy's a humongous guy."

Daddy's pancakes
At breakfast on the weekend with a pile of Daddy's pancakes on his plate:
Eli: "I love these pancakes so much I don't like them!"

Eli's name
Eli: "How about you just call me "Eli?" Don't call me "E," because I don't know what you are talking about or who you are talking to!"

About work
When Mama asks Ewan if he is working:
Eli: "Babies don't work, Ewan! Kids and grown-ups work!"

Who's work is more important?
On the way home from preschool one day, Eli was asking why Ewan's school was longer than his. I said that I had to pick Eli up at noon or get charged $1 per minute I was late. I also said that Marlene knows when I am going to pick up Ewan.
Eli: "So what happens if you are 600 minutes late to pick me up?"
Mama: "That's 10 hours. That would be past your rest time and dinner time and bed time. The school would be worried and they would call Daddy and maybe some other people to pick you up."
Eli, with a bright voice: "So Daddy would come pick me up from school!"
Mama: "Yes."
Eli: "Daddy doesn't pick me up because he is at work."
Mama: "Right."
Eli: "And you pick me up because Daddy's work is more important than your work?"
Mama, out loud: "Ummm...."
Mama, in her head: "You are my work!"

Preschool curriculum
Eli loves to give me updates on what he will be when he grows up. Paleontologist and Daddy are fairly constant, the others change quite drastically. One day...
Eli: "I am going to be a paleontologist, someone who swims under the water, a frog biologist, a daddy and an airplane flyer. Can I do all of those things?"
Mama: "Sure, I don't see why not."
Eli: "OK, you tell Chris (preschool teacher) so that he can start teaching me how to be those things, OK?"

Love
Eli to Ewan: "I love you more than you love me. I love you as much as the ocean!"

Gravity
Upon picking Eli up from school this month:
Eli: "Mama, Mama, I know something!"
Mama: "Oh yeah. What?"
Eli: "I can't remember what it is called, but it keeps us stuck to the Earth!"
And a few days later at a new playground, Eli tries this fancy ring-shaped merry-go-round. It is tilted enough that once it gets going (with kids on top), you don't need to push it anymore. Eli, getting scared as it goes faster and faster: "Gravity, stop doing your job!"

A cheetah
Eli has been saying that he runs as fast as a cheetah for months now. One day in February he was more specific: "I can run 50 miles per hour for three miles." I was impressed with the accuracy of his units of measure. He's not quite as accurate when explaining how tired he is: "I'm SO tired, Mama. I'm a hundred-thousand-sixty tired!"

Helping Ewan down the stairs
I love terms coined by 4-year-olds:
Eli to Ewan: "Do you want to go down the stairs by yourself? We could go baby-style, if you want."
‎'Baby-style' is backwards, on your knees. If you straighten your knees, you kind of glide down the stairs on your belly.

Choices
This is what it was like to parent Eli in Janurary (extrapolate to every other situation):
Mama: Eli, do you want a bagel, waffle or toast for breakfast?
Long pause.
Eli: Eggs.

Cords
Eli, pointing to the vacuum cord: "I want to unstrangle it."